When Life Hands You Lemons
Do you remember the Denzel Washington movie, Fallen from the late 90’s? I don’t want to give too much away because you’ve only had eighteen years to catch it, but the premise is that a demon is traveling from person to person by touch. The spreading evil changes people, pitting them against one another. It’s like a dark cloud is descending over Philadelphia and the detective (Washington) can’t move quickly enough to stop it.
You guys. This thing we’re facing. Am I Denzel Washington?
I’m kidding! Just needed a little laugh. This virus is not biased nor is it targeting anyone. So it’s not sinister in that sense. It is, however changing the way we look at each other. Have you noticed that? People avoid eye contact like it’s a mode of transmission. The strange interactions have caused my insides to twist uncomfortably as I make my way through the aisles. The anticipation alone keeps me up at night and my chest often feels like it’s being crushed by an invisible force. While I’ve never experienced a full blown panic attack, I’ve witnessed enough to know that I needed to get a handle on this. I’ve stepped up my coping game and wanted to share some tips that might be helpful for you.
Coping with Anxiety
Mindfulness is increasingly popular as anxiety becomes a regular part of daily living. From imagining a place that brings you feelings of peace and calm to focusing on your breaths, filling your lungs and then your diaphragm. Breathing in the things that are bothering you, blowing them out forcefully. Prayer. While some of us are exhaling as life shifts gears and forces us to stay home, I have no doubt that anxiety and trauma-related symptoms will be the result of this recent pandemic.
But that doesn’t have to be frightening. Just enlightening. When you know what to expect, you’re better able to prepare yourself. We can choose to be present while disempowering negative emotions. Would you like to know my FAVORITE method of kicking panic to the curb?
Then count to 5. I’m a big fan of the 5-4-3-2-1- grounding technique. Check out how easy it is to implement and recall:
Look: look around and say aloud 5 things you can see
Feel: consider sensations-what are 4 things you feel right now? (i.e. warm blanket, hair on shoulders, clothes on body, etc.)
Listen: be still and silent-what are 3 things you can hear? (i.e. traffic, wind, birds, etc.)
Smell: what are 2 things you can smell? Move closer to objects in the room, if you’d like
Taste: what is 1 thing you can taste? If nothing currently, focus on some of your favorites
Do you know what engages all of these sense? Citrus! Orange, lemon, or lime…all are great ways to redirect your focus and reduce the effects of anxiety momentarily. It is absolutely important to address the underlying concerns at another time. In the meantime, you can see, hold, squish, smell, and taste citrus produce to engage your senses and disengage rising panic. Little rabbit trail…I first learned about this grounding method to assist people experiencing PTSD and flashbacks. That’s how powerful and all-encompassing anxiety and panic attacks have become! They carry the weight of massive trauma! When life hands you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Grow a lemon tree, make lemon art, sing lemon songs…I think you get what I’m saying (right?). Keep your feet on the ground and remain engaged!
Faith for the Senses
I have no less than 5 book proposals swimming around in my mind, one of which is loosely titled “Faith for the Senses.” I don’t know…I’m open to suggestions. The basic gist is that God created our sensory needs and powerful emotions with a purpose and design in mind. We experience emotional grounding when we use our senses to be mindful of our surroundings. Why not allow our senses to promote spiritual grounding as we connect with God through them? Just for fun, let’s take a look at what that might look like. I’ve included a verse for each sense that could be memorized, prayed aloud, sung, journaled, or simply recited for comfort.
Look: Look for 5 things around for 5 things you’re thankful for. How do they show God has shown up in your life? Are there any clues of his faithfulness? What evidence of Him do you see in the natural world around you? Look at His promises to show His great love:
“Look at the nations and watch and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” Habakkuk 1:5, NIV
Feel: What are 4 things you can touch that make you feel safe/loved right now? Shelter, clothing, a person, a pet, a soft blanket, a treasured gift, etc. Can you think of a time you’ve felt God’s protection in your life? Feel the confidence and security of His protection:
“And you shall be secure and feel confident because there is hope; yes, you shall search about you, and you shall take your rest in safety.” Job 11:18, Amplified
Listen: What are 3 things you can hear? Can you hear anything from nature (birds, wind, rain, etc.)? Pray the below verse to Him and listen to your breaths going deeply in and then slowly out as you focus on listening. Psalm 107:29 tells us that He quiets the storm and and hushes the waves, which Jesus later went on to do. How can you listen for Him now? Listen for the things He wants to share with just you:
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3, NIV
Smell: Find 2 things you can smell. Perfume, oils, lotions, soaps, candles, fresh-washed towels, food, etc. You get the idea. Did God create any of these? What power does it take to design a world full of so many wonderful sights and smells? Jesus covered ALL OF THIS at the Cross. Just like a pleasant smell fills the lungs, so we fill God’s heart because of what Jesus did for us. His sacrifice made us a fragrant offering. Even as we’re scattered, He will be glorified by the sweetness we offer to the world.
“And walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:2, NIV
“I will accept you as fragrant incense when I bring you out from the nations and gather you from the countries where you have been scattered, and I will be proved holy through you in the sight of the nations.” Ezekiel 20:41, NIV
Taste: What is one thing you taste? Could be the mint from your toothpaste or the sticky remains of an apple. If it’s puppy breath, then imagine tasting something you love that God has made. Consider the sour burst of a lemon or chocolate melting in your mouth. If you’re weird like me, you might think of the crunch of roasted Brussel sprouts or the feel of cold milk running down your throat. Anything to connect your senses to the bountiful sustenance of what He’s made. I sound like a Thanksgiving commercial from the early 40’s, but I mean it. ENGAGE.
“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8, NIV
NOW. Some of these are lengthy. I recommend using this technique at it’s basic level and building up the spiritual component when you’re not feeling the frenzy. Set them in place before you need them so that you know where to find them when you feel the panic growing. I can’t find my phone in my hand if I’m feeling unsettled, but putting it in the same place everyday would create the muscle memory I need to stay focused. Does that make sense? Our brain is a muscle! We need to exercise the parts that we want to grow.
Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” We are wired to overcome. We are neurologically capable of transformative thinking. We are made to thrive.
In Fallen, Washington’s character said “There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this... Sometimes you can feel such a moment coming. That's the test, or so I tell myself. I tell myself that at times like that, strong people keep moving forward anyway, no matter what they're going to find.”
